Another context for can't pretend to know that I find really helpful:
... that this moment would be better—and we would be better—if things had only gone the way we would have preferred. It is a huge responsibility to know what is best for the world. Of course, in judging the moment to be not good enough, we reinforce our feelings of personal inadequacy.
Bailey, Becky A. (2009-10-13). Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills For Turning Conflict (pp. 37-38). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.