NVC and Crocker's research on Egosystem and Ecosystem goals

Here's an email I sent in response to emailing my Nonviolent Communication community about Clean Talk (with the text from my previous blogpost which elicited a reply that I responded to with this blogpost):

You used the word "ecology" in your reply, and that got me thinking about a talk I went to by Jennifer Crocker where I learned about remarkable effects her research found with first semester college students and the goals they set for themselves weekly...and the effects they found include effects on goal progress on learning-oriented achievement goals, self-regulation, and decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety...

I hadn't thought about NVC and this talk before in the same breath. There's good reasons to be looking to hold the space for everyone's needs getting met...and I'm now seeing that some of those reasons are backed up by solid research... 

Here are the two categories of goals that they looked at.

Egosystem motivational perspective based on self-image goals

Based on broad range of self-oriented goals related to constructing, maintaining, enhancing, and defending self- images.

Ecosystem motivational perspective based on compassionate (contribution) goals

Motivation focused on what one wants to give, contribute, or create for others and for the self.

Here's what their research found.

People with compassionate goals feel clear and connected, cooperative, close, and have less conflict. They experience increased social support, trust, learning-oriented achievement goals, self-regulation, and goal progress, and decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety. Compassionate goals help people see the resources that are already available to them, and create more resources. People with self-image goals feel afraid, confused, and competitive, lonely, and have more conflict.

If you want to read more about what they found...the above excerpt is from the end of the article that you can go to with this URL that takes you straight to the section near the end of the article (Note you can chop off the last bit starting with the # if you want to go to the beginning of the article): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3017354/#S12title

Here are the components of clear and connected vs afraid and confused that they measured and then did factor analysis on:
clear and connected (comprising peaceful, connected to others, cooperative, loving, clear, present, empathic, and engaged; α = .91), and afraid and confused (comprising fearful, ambivalent/conflicted, pressured, distracted, confused, critical, isolated, and competitive; α = .90).

Leeann

Clean Talk

Just learned about something similar to NVC called Clean Talk. It has
4 channels, so instead of OFNR, here are it's four channels...and you
can start anywhere with the channels in any order...

1. Feeling/Emotions
2. Data/Facts
3. Assessments/Judgments - I think... or How I'm perceiving things is
.... or My story is... -  it is merely what you find yourself
thinking. The key to this channel is to own these as your assessments
rather than stating them as fact or feeling
4. Wants/Requests - could be in terms of values and/or needs - helpful
to think in terms of wanting Data to go different, with either an
action of acknowledgment vs. having the story go different.

I find it interesting to have the Assessments/Judgments/My story is...
channel. I'm thinking it will help me to make more room for Jackal
language...like to admit to it in myself...or to admit that I'm
worried about how other people could speak in Jackal to me... (Or
maybe it's hard for me to figure out what my needs might be...and this
gives me a way to get at things without having to name my
needs...which could be a disadvantage to Clean Talk because maybe I
could really benefit from learning to have more ability to access what
my needs are.)

So, I'm quite interested in experimenting with Clean Talk...

Addendum:
-It's often helpful to reality test the Data/Facts you present. For example, Is that what you meant? What did you actually mean to communicate? 
-I'm noticing it could also be helpful to ask questions about the Data/Facts that get at the other person's perceptions of them.
-I was told that it can be helpful to request (and may need to interrupt and do so) that the other person take more ownership with their Assessments/Judgments/Perceptions, e.g., by saying I don't want this to be about your take on what this means about me, can you instead please talk in terms of your feelings and needs with this?