Saturday, December 10, 2016

Clean Talk

Just learned about something similar to NVC called Clean Talk. It has
4 channels, so instead of OFNR, here are it's four channels...and you
can start anywhere with the channels in any order...

1. Feeling/Emotions
2. Data/Facts
3. Assessments/Judgments - I think... or How I'm perceiving things is
.... or My story is... -  it is merely what you find yourself
thinking. The key to this channel is to own these as your assessments
rather than stating them as fact or feeling
4. Wants/Requests - could be in terms of values and/or needs - helpful
to think in terms of wanting Data to go different, with either an
action of acknowledgment vs. having the story go different.

I find it interesting to have the Assessments/Judgments/My story is...
channel. I'm thinking it will help me to make more room for Jackal
language...like to admit to it in myself...or to admit that I'm
worried about how other people could speak in Jackal to me... (Or
maybe it's hard for me to figure out what my needs might be...and this
gives me a way to get at things without having to name my
needs...which could be a disadvantage to Clean Talk because maybe I
could really benefit from learning to have more ability to access what
my needs are.)

So, I'm quite interested in experimenting with Clean Talk...

Addendum:
-It's often helpful to reality test the Data/Facts you present. For example, Is that what you meant? What did you actually mean to communicate? 
-I'm noticing it could also be helpful to ask questions about the Data/Facts that get at the other person's perceptions of them.
-I was told that it can be helpful to request (and may need to interrupt and do so) that the other person take more ownership with their Assessments/Judgments/Perceptions, e.g., by saying I don't want this to be about your take on what this means about me, can you instead please talk in terms of your feelings and needs with this?

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