Relax, nothing is under control

https://www.facebook.com/RelaxNothingIsUnderControl/photos/a.1455427581335317.1073741825.1455417351336340/1456204907924251/?type=1&theater

Sit back and admire me - know that others are doing that

"Sit back and admire you" is what my therapist Michael Lassoff said that he gets to do with me

Sit back and admire myself

To borrow from the poet Mary Oliver:

Let the soft animal of my body love what it loves

Live my life!
My one wild and precious life

You do not have to walk on your knees. For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

I love it when ...

Just got home from a Nonviolent Communication practice group meeting, where I found being prompted with the stem "I love it when ..." to be a helpful way of getting connected to a feeling of having my nervous system say ahhh, to taking a deep breath, and to thinking about what I want.

Celebrating life
Seeing the beauty in all of life
That's what I was able to come away with when I left the practice group.

I want this.

Positive reinforcement

Seems like just like not getting hooked by negative stuff and letting anxiety run the show with negative stuff, similarly, there's also the possibility of getting hooked by positive stuff.

I guess it's about what keeps me in the game vs. what takes me out of the game. Maybe that's the answer I have to this question.

I guess the other answer I have to this question is that if the positive thing involves avoiding/escaping/getting rid of anxiety, then that'll keep me stuck with making my bully stronger and will tend to reinforce that anxiety is something that I can't handle...and such...

Fall in love

Fall in love with living
Fall in love with life

Fall in love with being with myself
Fall in love with uncertainty

Fall in love with the messy real-ness of life and let go of the unattainable Pema Chodron's hell way of going about trying to get more comfortable that only leads me to be constantly futzing with things to getting them the way I think I want them

Relax into stillness
Be curious about what pulls you out of stillness

“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

One thing this quote definitely speaks to for me is connecting with others in writing. Wanting what I say to be more significant gets in the way of getting it carried out. Getting it carried out needs to be more important!!!

Another thing this quote speaks to is Melisa saying not to get caught up in which exposures to do. I'm getting far too hampered by wanting the ones I do to be the "right" ones. Instead, it would behoove me to close my eyes and jump, because it is very important that I do them. Pick one, any one. Be with the uncertainty, and do something, anything. Be process-oriented and not outcome-oriented. Outcome-oriented me was saying that leaving this post opened up in one of my browser windows might mean that it comes across my purview at just the "right" moment in a way that would be more significant than if I closed the browser window. Process-oriented me wants to keep moving and doing.

Smallness and now

Stefanie suggested grounding myself with the words, smallness and now.

what little things can I do bit by bit
how can I experience this a little bit differently in a more desirable way
what's Leeann's answer to that