“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

One thing this quote definitely speaks to for me is connecting with others in writing. Wanting what I say to be more significant gets in the way of getting it carried out. Getting it carried out needs to be more important!!!

Another thing this quote speaks to is Melisa saying not to get caught up in which exposures to do. I'm getting far too hampered by wanting the ones I do to be the "right" ones. Instead, it would behoove me to close my eyes and jump, because it is very important that I do them. Pick one, any one. Be with the uncertainty, and do something, anything. Be process-oriented and not outcome-oriented. Outcome-oriented me was saying that leaving this post opened up in one of my browser windows might mean that it comes across my purview at just the "right" moment in a way that would be more significant than if I closed the browser window. Process-oriented me wants to keep moving and doing.

Smallness and now

Stefanie suggested grounding myself with the words, smallness and now.

what little things can I do bit by bit
how can I experience this a little bit differently in a more desirable way
what's Leeann's answer to that

Mindfulness where just watching bringing myself to just watching without trying to control

Mindfully watch anxiety 

without doing anything

can get bigger

can get smaller

Leeann's answer

My pharmacist at Stadium Pharmacy, Xavier Tato, has been so patient and helpful to me.

One thing that I'm finding really helpful today is something Xavier said to me when I was struggling with indecision (as I often have been while talking to Xavier) . He said to cast it as "What's Leeann's answer?" Base it on what feels right right now.

塞翁失馬 (Sai weng shi ma) reminds me that we can't know whether we will like the outcomes that seem like they are highly correlated with what I've chosen. So, be process-oriented instead of outcome-oriented, and perhaps this reminder will help me go with what feels like Leeann's answer in each moment. Go with what feels right to Leeann, right now.

Where is Leeann in all this? That's a question along similar lines that was posed to me by my therapist at the Houston OCD Program. If I'm letting my "robot program" run my life, then there is no Leeann in all this.

Ground - supported from the ground up

and then let my shoulders hang and imagine them being supported by my lungs
and when I'm sitting let my pelvis be supported from what's underneath

Stefanie was noticing that my focus was all about getting my shoulders to do the right thing and holding them in a certain position

Instead, think of how that all is supported from the ground up